my messy thoughts no.1

Sometimes I am scared of being young and sometimes I feel like I am growing old too fast. When you look at me I have no career,I am at university trying to invest in my ‘future’. I know that for the most of the people it seems perfectly normal but who decided we need to live this way? I am so sick of the society which pretends to be educated but has no critical thinking about  the most of the things around them. And don’t get me wrong I think education is the best thing that happened to me.This is the reason why I left my home,my country,my family,my friends.This is also the reason why I stopped for one year and just lived my life as it is…Because at that time my exam results were not as good as the system wanted it to be. You know what? I agree, everything does happen for the reason and if you overcome obstacles you start to appreciate what you achieved.You can be happy….. But what do you do when you look around and you see people who are a few years younger than you and who have no idea what is happening in Ukraine,Syria,Afghanistan or Africa?What do you do when women start to compete with each other of who looks better,who has better figure,nicer smile or more expensive dress? What do you do when you look at the mirror and you understand you are growing older but you still have not made a difference in anyone’s life?  Being young is scary because of the future and being old makes you regret the things you have not done… What is the purpose of life? I never tell ….but what worries me I share throughout my messy thought on my dirty pink laptop.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

afraid of love but friendship is the one to kill you!

So yes I am one of those girls…I like freedom,I am addicted to that feeling when you do what you want and you don’t need to discuss it with anyone,when you are in a relationship and you enjoy the feeling that someone loves you so much but you can’t even call it L.O.V.E….I thought I will always stay the same because I kept controlling myself and I still do.However, I always had friends around me and I never set any boundaries.Those friends are the best friends,they are typical to the ones you see in the perfect films  : THEY WILL BE HERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT! And then one day one of them starts to follow his dream and goes away..And you support the decision because obviously I am a good friend. And you know what?you know whaaaat?! I want to scream and cry because I feel alone,because I tried to ignore all the feelings and I still got heart broken,because sometimes loosing a friend is much worse than loosing a boyfriend,husband or a lover..


Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

A ‘date’ ???

I deleted a lot of my old posts and decided to start over.I left the introduction so I can just share my thoughts without any typical bullshit I like to present to the public.

To start with,I went on a date today…And then I started thinking what do we call a ‘date’ ? In the oxford dictionary its definition is : ‘a social or romantic appointment or engagement’. I did not kiss him and he did not kiss me…Seemed to weird even though the conversation went well.So why is it a date? Should not we call this a social appointment (which according to Oxford people is still a DATE) or a friendly meeting?

The place of the ‘appointment’ : A cozy coffee-shop with a cup of cappuccino and an arty crowd around.

The time of the ‘appointment’ : 2 hours

The main topic of the ‘appointment’ : ‘Let’s impress her’

The looks (don’t say it’s not important) : A good style and a red nose..It was cold though!

The impression : He is too talented and too good for me

Soo do I like him? I do and I don’t

Will there be a second date? Already arranged

The question of TODAY is : What do we call a date or what do we call a successful date?

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“The first pancake is always lumpy”


I cant believe that i am actually doing this.I always wanted it but have never known how to start…One wise man encouraged me to stop thinking and just write.So here I am…Trying to show the world how wonderful I am and how interesting my blog will be.You know what!? I actually don’t know what i will be blogging about.Its just so much I want to say.I have different ideas and opinions on so many things around me or inside me that in the end of the day sometimes i cant shut it down.Hopefully this new hobby will help me to solve this problem and figure out who i am..If u ask me how i describe myself for now : let’s say lover of life,fashion,art,food,movies,nice songs,long train journeys and challenges which make you feel free over and over again :)

p.s. does everyone in here start his first post being that cheesy or is it just something wrong with me???

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 2 Comments